First day of internet in new place

My roommates and I have just moved into a swanky new downtown loft with concrete floors and one giant room. Of course, my preferences were not considered when picking out this place. I know concrete and wooden floors are all the rage these days but there was I reason they went out of style. They aren’t comfortable! My paws, my poor poor little paws have never felt so sore. Of course my roommates just throw on some flip flops or some soft fuzzy slippers. Where are my bloody slippers, eh?!

Complaint #2 this place has 13 foot high ceilings. Unlike our previous places, I have no way of reaching the top of the apartment. To make things worse, the female human placed a tray of cat grass on a ledge about 9 human feet high. As frustrating as this is, I am determined to keep investigating. Perhaps some sort of catapult….

But my biggest complaint with the new place is this: They are forgetting to feed me. I’m not even sure if “forgetting” is the right word. Whether it is due to negligence, stupidity or harsh cruelty, I don’t know. Tonight, when the female was sitting on the couch, I sat down on the coffee table in front of her. I had been out of food for nearly three hours now! She sat there stupidly enthralled with whatever internet trash she could find. I pawed at a piece of paper the male had printed off earlier and then, just to gage her reaction, I started to eat it! Oh, dear reader, if you could have seen her shock. I haven’t eaten paper since I was a kitten. Her response was favorable. After yelling out “jeeves!” she pondered the possible motives for my paper-eating scheme and her apelike features soon settled into an illuminating expression. Yes, I could see the light bulb had gone off. She walked over to my bowl and pored in some food. A paltry amount, but still, it should get me through the night.

Despite these downfalls, the place does have some perks. I find that i can keep a better eye on everyone now that they are stuck in the same room together. This will be good for my studies on human relationships. How will this couple react in an enclosed space together?

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