On the Human Musical Condition

Both the male and the female have an obsession with “singing,” for lack of a better word. When alone, the female will often burst into song, declaring herself to be a “Rocketman” or “Under Pressure” or that she is an “Extraordinary Machine.” The male however chooses a different approach by inserting my name into already existing songs such as “taking care of jeevesness,” “ba-ba-ba bennie and the jeeves,” or “oh, sweet jeeves o’mine.” Like most cats (except for the sellouts) I believe singing is for the philistines.

When they are home together, it’s more of a purposeful cacophony of painful notes. I think they might be trying to figure out who can create the most obnoxious sound in the world. Or it could be that if one is being annoying, the other human has to join, in order to avoid being annoyed. Better to be the vexer, than the vexee? In the steady flow of my thought processes, I may have just discovered the whole cause of the current human condition! A spiral effect of irritating and disturbing behavior! Could this be how they spend their days interacting with other humans, trying to one-up their acquaintances with irksome behaviors?

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