Archive for September, 2009

Healthful Life Cat Chow Purina Balance

After writing my novel its difficult to return to this sporadic posting-style. As it is for most bloggers, I find my most stimulating topics when I have something to complain about. Things have been rather uneventful lately, but I knew my roommates wouldn’t let me down for long. 

The female with her wholly misguided human American consumer brain has just brought home a new type of dry food for my serving platter. Instead of the usual brown grain chunks, I am now being treated to brightly-colored grain chunks. This feast boasts of scientific blend of chicken, salmon, whole grains, cranberries, carrots, garden greens, and cheeses all in one. I don’t think any food product should boast of such a list of ingredients and unfortunately I’m only a fan of 3 of these foods.

In the words of the male. “I love me some cheese” (they use very awkward grammar sometimes) and I am not opposed to variety in my diet, but I’d prefer this variety wasn’t all blended together and dried up with added food coloring. I don’t see the humans collecting all the elements of a fine dinner and then throwing them in the blender.

At first I wondered why she had brought me this bizarre food but now I can picture the female checking out all the food in the feline grocery section and picking out the item with packaging that reinforced her faux-zen, green, hippie, healthy attitude at the time. When she is in a scientific mood, I get food in blue packaging and when in a playful mood she brings me back yellow-packaged food. Before this brand, the only difference in the food was in the coloring and shapes (I like the scientific shapes the best). But this health food is harsh on the olfactory system. At least, it’s a small bag that will be gone soon. I’ve been making a show of how disgusting it is so she’ll understand that I never want to smell, taste, or see this food again. I think she’s starting to get it.

Hobble

I’d apologize for not posting in awhile, but I don’t want to be that sort of blogger. My novel writing took a greater toll on me than I had at first noticed. I don’t want to panic but I’m afraid I may have come down with something. *cough* swineflu *cough*hairball*cough*

Its possible I’ve caught something from the female. She’s been hobbling about and mainly rolling over the concrete floors in her office chair. I’m not sure if something is wrong with her foot or if the problem has deeper roots impacting her motor skills. I’ll have to keep a watch on her.

The End

I am happy to announce that I am now a novelist. Or maybe novellaist is a more appropriate title. I’ve never been so sleep deprived in my life. I didn’t get more than 12 hours of sleep a day. I vaguely recall going out to smoke on the balcony on day 2 of the contest. We don’t have a balcony and I don’t smoke, which makes me wonder what I was doing and/or hallucinating at that time.

The female helped me by keeping a fresh saucer of the ol’ liquid motivation always at paw and distributing serviceable portions of tuna as required. At one point, the keys on the keypad stopped registering. The female had to go in with slivers of tape between the keys to get the fur out. We started butting heads on day 3. She may have provided the monetary backing for this project, but creativity was my sole provision and I had to take the claws out to make her realize that.

Last year’s winner had a total of 144 pages. I set this as my goal but choose not to add 83 pages of filler to meet that goal. A cat has a certain artistic integrity what cannot be done away with in any circumstances. Its been nearly 22 hours since we finished the project. I spent this time catching lost sleep. The female had to go to her place of work today and came back blurry eyed and yawning. She has poured herself a glass of the ol’ liquid de-motivation and I think will be sleeping soundly soon.

Contest Prep

I’m happy to announce that after much haggling and pussy-footing about with my roommates, I will be entering this year’s three-day novel writing contest. It was a battle. I suggested the idea to the female, and of course, she fancied herself entering the contest. This would have been fine if I could use the male’s computer, but he thought the he might possibly, maybe need his computer in case he felt in the mood for a video game or had an urgent need to look something up at some point in the weekend. I saw no reasoning with him, but I finally convinced the female that I would be far more likely to win with my poetic prowess and ambitious nature than she would. The contest starts tomorrow at midnight so I’ll have to rest up until then.