Archive for October, 2009

Rehearsal

The female is taking a luxury weekend it seems. She spent Friday cleaning (everything but my toilet box) and singing in her fake solo rock band. She has also cut her hair short, possibly to match her new rock star delusion. With the male’s hair getting shaggy, it was hard to tell them apart from a distance, but the addition of pink streaks and spiky-styling alleviated my confusion.

In the evening the rest of the rock band showed up for a shaky rehearsal. The shaggy dark-haired fellow made another appearance followed by a slightly less shaggy dark-haired person who bore an uncanny resemblance to the former. Obviously this man is his doppelgänger, or vice versa. Before playing their plastic instruments, they did some fake onscreen fighting and imbibed bubbly drinks with lime, supposedly to rev up their energy for the fake rock session.

I passed most of the night buried in a pile cloths, trying to block out the modern human cacophony they refer to as “music.”

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Qxf4+!?

Once again, the roommates have left me bewildered by their bizarre behavior. They went out yesterday and returned with a large box, the product of their brief consumermania. In this box were many more boxes dividing up yet smaller boxes containing pieces surrounded in a catproof plastic. Humans must take great pleasure in packaging and unwrapping items. My roommates were shortly joined by the shaggy dark-haired fellow with an unstable nature as well as my old roommate, Jeremy. At least one human could cast a bit of sanity on this chaos. 

I waited with an apprehensive anticipation of what would come. When the humans had nearly finished their piecing together of items I began to see the formations of a rock band.

Blast! Am I to be awoken at all hours of the day by these hoodlums in my loft playing their revolting rock music! But no, they started to play. The instruments were not real, but plastic. There were no amplifying elements, just four British human avatars. It’s a video game. The humans have put together a fake rock band.

I spend a lot of time trying to predict what the humans might do next and how I can possibly foil their schemes with my forethought. Its like a constant chess game with these humans. Just when I think I have their next move determined, out comes their Rook to capture my Queen, throwing my whole game out of equanimity.

Honestly, who starts a fake rock band?

Tunaholics Anonymous

For 3 days I got tuna every afternoon. On the first day, it was a pleasant surprise. On the second day, I prepared myself for disappointment, but there it came again. By day three the tuna craving had officially rewired the circuits in my brain and I was back in the old habit. Tuna is not merely wistfully expected now but has become indispensable in keeping away life’s dreary spots. I need tuna. Now on day 4, nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing!