Ah yes, Halloween – Alice in Wonderland-style

I’m not going to claim ignorance in the human’s traditional celebration of Halloween, as no respectable and tech-savvy feline possibly would. There is just no point in feigning surprise over the bizarre customs celebrated by humans on the occasional, agreed-upon day. I’ve seen it before and I’m sure I will see it again. It is a holiday, much like Christmas, over 2,000 years old with its own colors, decorations, and strange displays of giving (in this case, candy) to others.

I could tell something was being cooked up in the female’s brain in the way of Halloween event planning for awhile now. Most recently, the cabinet containing liquor seemed to swell with anticipation. I usually abhor these human gatherings, but honestly, I was looking for a little excitement.

I helped out the female as she threw colored ribbons over pipes. She seemed a little stressed out, so I offered her a helpful claw to take some of the decorating responsibilities away from her. I was shocked at her ungracious attitude, but I suppose some people have to do everything themselves.

She fastened her rolling contraptions to her feet, just as the party was starting. With that element of danger in place, I secured my chair for the evening and settled in to be a passive observer to the human freak show that was about to begin.

alice from a cat's eyeI recognized the male by his manly stance. He was loosely dressed as the main character, Alice, but lacked the grace of a young lady and appeared to be rather demented. Then there was the gay unicorn, several card people, the Cheshire cat (who fully lacked the grace of a cat), the armed man in red pajamas, a Viking, a slave Leia (from the popular science fiction movie called Star Wars, I was informed), a beaten vintage woman, a man with a fuzzy tale attached to his suit jacket, a detective, a time-obsessed bunny, and the maker of the popular party Jewlick, Jeremy, you old so-and-so.

I watched as fake bands formed and broke up, croquet matches were started and abandoned, flamingos strangled, cucumber sandwiches consumed, and the DRINK ME sign carefully complied with.

All in all, it was a typical tea party, without much to remark on, but I do wish the female had warned me that the roses where freshly painted. I was cleaning the red out of my white until morning.


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