Posts Tagged ‘good stuff’

Human Adventure Meets the Feline Routine

The wave bed produces great peace of mind.

When taking on my professional writing gig at Mispeled, I was given some expert advice from our dear site administrator who is obviously well-acquainted with my blogging style and felt the need to share some of his opinions as to the quality and execution of my topics.

I was informed that I should write “good stuff,” not “boring stuff.” This so-called “boring stuff” dealt mostly with my daily routine and deviations from this routine, usually caused by my bipedal roommates. The humans are a fickle and unpredictable species, and often reek utter chaos over my daily habits. The site admin specifically told me not to write about the human’s vacations and how I spent my days during this time, as that was just dull filler.

Experiencing the c-nip tunnel of delight.

Well, I hate to burst the soppy delusions of any primate brains reading this, but our lives mostly are filler and to tell yourself otherwise can only be categorized as a special kind of denial. The human tenacity for denial is an incredible thing.

Anyway, If there is one thing I loathe, it’s a writer who ignores all criticism and advice from the outside world. So taking the site administrator’s advice into consideration, I wisely move forward with my new post: Human Vacations and My Daily Routine.

From my experience with humans, they are constantly dreaming about far off adventures to exotic countries or talking about getting away on a camping trip surrounded by nature. I find both of these schemes to be highly overrated. The idea of nature is all well and good, but it’s a bit too idealized for my realistic feline tastes. Nature is dirty and uncooperative and often covered with too many bugs, both of the flying and crawling kind. Now don’t mistake me here, because I do love the spontaneous apartment bug hunt, but in nature there are just too many bugs to really have an impact on the surroundings. When trying to catch a fly outdoors, you’ll be harassed by 10 of it’s buddies in the process and the fly will eventually be lost in the excessive expanse of nature before you can even get your paws on it. It’s insanity!

Lame human vacation postcard picture.

Plus, traveling in general, is a hassle. I watch the humans stress on the preparation of a trip, only to come back days later completely exhausted and smelling funny. So what is the point of this?

I’m pretty sure humans don’t need to remove themselves from a physical location in order to mentally check out. I see them doing it all the time. I won’t even get into how many pounds of premium tuna can be purchased with the amount needed to buy a plane ticket. (37)

Now let’s take a look at my daily routine. Even on a fairly habitual day, there are great nuances within the familiar that makes things new and exciting. Where are these variances found, you ask? In the freshness of my beverage, the occasional hairball, a glorious sunbath at the height of the day, an unprovoked attack on a sleeping human, the leftovers sitting on the table, and even a new box!

Yes, my names is Jeeves G. Fuzzenstein and I am a tourist in my 1000 feet of living space.

A new box!