Fat Summer

{ May 8, 2011 @ 4:05 pm } · { Dieting }
{ Tags: bug hunt, cats, dieting, spiders, zen of fly capture }

First of all, let me just state the obvious: newlyweds = yeck.

Now, onward to summer! Open-window weather has begun which means the much anticipated, great bug-hunting season

of 2011 is here! Bring on the bugs!

This weekend marks the gorgeous pinnacle for all-windows-open season. I woke up this morning, and right after my morning breakfast and nap was over, I rushed about to see what kind of bug garnish I could expect on my plate today. Judging from the buzz in the air, I set my goal at 2 wormy things, 3 spiders, and 1 fly!

I could have aimed higher on my spider quotas, as spiders are plentiful in human dwellings, but I do like to give the female a chance to find a few herself. I know how she loves them. Why, just the other day, I was taking my afternoon rest on the back of the sofa as she was sprawled out on the lower cushions calmly reading her book (back on the Proust I see).

She was deeply absorbed in her little story book, when the real world delivered her a little surprise. Her expression changed to that classic I-have-an-itch monkey face, and just before her arm could reach the offending area, her eyes caught sight of a Class 2 spider tickling it’s way up her leg. These events are always highly entertaining for the both of us. What kind of roommate would I be were I to deprive her of an entire spider-finding season?

Now, back to today’s hunt. Things started out splendidly! By the time I reached my mid-morning nap, I’d already caught my wormy things (which I threw up on the rug, in following with the traditions of the great feline bug-hunters) and was making good progress on my fly capture. A fly is a tricky prey which draws heavily on a cat’s training in the art of flying object capture. The zen of processual fly hunting has been passed down through the generations of online cats. In order to catch a fly, you must study it’s patterns and learn, not just where it is, but where it is going.

By the time afternoon had come around, I was ready to make my move. I positioned myself on the edge of the couch, prepared to intersect my prey’s flight plan. As I heard the buzzing near, I leapt into the air in what was intended to be a triple salchow mid-air pounce. The maneuver did not go well. I could hear the female laughing from the other side of the room. Of course, I played it cool, acting like that was exactly what I intended to do. I gave my fur a quick cleaning and wondered over to the sofa to reflect on my mistakes and regain my calm.

I realize now that I’ve grown rather out of shape these past few years. It hasn’t made a difference to my lifestyle until now. Various humans have pointed out my weight issues, but I had just seen myself as slightly big-boned.

Portrait of an artist as a young cat. Oh, how things have changed.

Me, today, reflecting on the bug hunt.

This is the breaking point, my friends. I have decided that the time has come for me to lose this extra weight. This may not be easy, living the stressful surroundings I do (newlyweds, yeck!), but I am determined, by next bug hunting season, to lose 4 pounds!