Fat Summer

First of all, let me just state the obvious: newlyweds = yeck.

Now, onward to summer! Open-window weather has begun which means the much anticipated, great bug-hunting season

of 2011 is here! Bring on the bugs!

This weekend marks the gorgeous pinnacle for all-windows-open season. I woke up this morning, and right after my morning breakfast and nap was over, I rushed about to see what kind of bug garnish I could expect on my plate today. Judging from the buzz in the air, I set my goal at 2 wormy things, 3 spiders, and 1 fly!

I could have aimed higher on my spider quotas, as spiders are plentiful in human dwellings, but I do like to give the female a chance to find a few herself. I know how she loves them. Why, just the other day, I was taking my afternoon rest on the back of the sofa as she was sprawled out on the lower cushions calmly reading her book (back on the Proust I see).

She was deeply absorbed in her little story book, when the real world delivered her a little surprise. Her expression changed to that classic I-have-an-itch monkey face, and just before her arm could reach the offending area, her eyes caught sight of a Class 2 spider tickling it’s way up her leg. These events are always highly entertaining for the both of us. What kind of roommate would I be were I to deprive her of an entire spider-finding season?

Now, back to today’s hunt. Things started out splendidly! By the time I reached my mid-morning nap, I’d already caught my wormy things (which I threw up on the rug, in following with the traditions of the great feline bug-hunters) and was making good progress on my fly capture. A fly is a tricky prey which draws heavily on a cat’s training in the art of flying object capture. The zen of processual fly hunting has been passed down through the generations of online cats. In order to catch a fly, you must study it’s patterns and learn, not just where it is, but where it is going.

By the time afternoon had come around, I was ready to make my move. I positioned myself on the edge of the couch, prepared to intersect my prey’s flight plan. As I heard the buzzing near, I leapt into the air in what was intended to be a triple salchow mid-air pounce. The maneuver did not go well. I could hear the female laughing from the other side of the room. Of course, I played it cool, acting like that was exactly what I intended to do. I gave my fur a quick cleaning and wondered over to the sofa to reflect on my mistakes and regain my calm.

I realize now that I’ve grown rather out of shape these past few years. It hasn’t made a difference to my lifestyle until now. Various humans have pointed out my weight issues, but I had just seen myself as slightly big-boned.

Portrait of an artist as a young cat. Oh, how things have changed.

Me, today, reflecting on the bug hunt.

This is the breaking point, my friends. I have decided that the time has come for me to lose this extra weight. This may not be easy, living the stressful surroundings I do (newlyweds, yeck!), but I am determined, by next bug hunting season, to lose 4 pounds!

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4 Comments »

  1. meowmeowmans Said:

    It’s great to set goals for yourself! With all that bug-hunting, you’re sure to shed a few LBs! 🙂

  2. Amy Said:

    Hi Little Friend,

    I miss you! Don’t be ashamed of your body, you’re perfect just the way you are! More chubble for the snuggle 🙂

    • Jeeves Said:

      Greetings, Amy!
      It’s been awhile. Well thank you, i’ve been pretty comfortable with my weight until this recent incident. I’ve got to do something though. These flies aren’t going to eat themselves! Unless…

  3. meowmeowmans Said:

    Happy Birthday, Jeeves!


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