Cat: A Log

My apologies, I forgot to post this from last weekend’s lofty excursions…

It’s been strange the past few days. The male has been away, presumably vacationing in some exotic location. Even without him around to harass me, I’m still a bit tense from not knowing when he will return. I think the female could sense this uneasiness and provided me with a splattering of catnip in my afternoon sunbath to take off the edge. My nerves calmed, I am finally up to writing another entry.

I now think the male’s presence has a direct correlation with the female’s grasp on reality. Before I had drawn the conclusion that the two humans together encouraged each other’s crazy and erratic behaviors (especially in reference to furniture arrangement), but now I see that when left alone, the female has a tendency to withdraw completely from society. Is this insanity drawn to the surface when no other humans are around to condemn crazy behaviors, or is it the direct cause of loneliness?

She spent most of the time “drumming” and singing in her “band” to the applause of her fans (imaginary). I felt no desire to point out to her that these fans were nothing more than figments. As long as she feeds me and cleans the toilet box, her degree of human sanity makes little difference to me.

Late in the afternoon, however, there was some cause for alarm. She had cleaned the apartment, which means visitors. She was taking out random foods and pans to cook with, which foretold the arrival of a couple. Couples have a tendency to tote around mini humans.  Good grief! I upped my guard to a more alarming shade.

Within minutes, in strolled the mini human of a previous encounter. I had studied her moves well at our last faceoff. I was ready to deploy a throng of evasive tactics, but was at once rendered motionless with hair numbing freight as she nearly leapt out of her carriage and started running at high speeds towards me, her arms waving with destructive glee.

I could tell at once that she had been practicing her moves, perhaps she had studied with some fur pulling masters to prepare for this encounter. The female accompanying her might be a trainer of sorts. I unsheathed my weapons with a hiss. The mini human looked undaunted while the full size humans came to her side.

“Is this to be a fair fight?” I declared. They all gathered round with a vested interest. Had they been taking bets?

“I do not enterain!” I bellowed. My female swooped in to airlift me out of the arena.

I have no doubt now that if given a FAIR fight, I would have stood a chance against this bellicose little person. But obviously, this whole thing had been rigged. My female saw this and made a special place for me on top of the cat-proof cold food storage, enabling me to reach a safe height above the mini-human for recovery of my senses.